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I’m thankful for coffee and a good book

That’s all I got to say… it was just one of those days…

In the quietness of the morning, I brewed myself a cup of fresh black coffee, plopped down on my well-cushioned couch, literally kicked my feet up (because I’m keeping my ankle elevated), and pulled out my book to delve into the story world waiting to be explored.

And then, I smiled. It stretched from ear to ear. I couldn’t help it. It was one of those moments in life that I found myself truly happy.

In the rush of our lives, I think all our senses are, to some extent, deadened. They are insensitive and have become passive. We are so busy to pay real attention to what goes on around us and our focus is dispersed; we are taught that multitasking is an asset, a key to success. But then our senses: smell, touch, vision, hearing and taste, don’t get to really play the part they exist in our lives for. While they exist to maximise the quality of our experiences, in our haste, we let these experiences pass us by, without understanding the extent of how amazing and how blissful these experiences really are.

They say “Time is money”, but the lack of it in our current world makes us poorer than we’ve ever been in history. What’s the point of rushing around, trying to get a gazillion things done, when we are actually missing the point of living?

Like everyone else, I face the timelessness in daily life, and let these magical moments go by without a second thought. Everyone has something their senses prick up in excitement at…but to many, it’s become a part of daily life and nothing more. To me, that’s just being “alive”, not “living.”

But this morning, I deeply breathed in the aroma and savoured the taste of coffee, while feeling the stimulation of caffeine, gradually awaking my body to the day. I awoke my imagination to life, as I saw and engaged with each and every word, bouncing off the pages.

I was Aware. Present. Living. And Happy.

So – for waking up my senses – thank you coffee, and my good book.

Time flies when one has fun

At work, I’ve always found myself wishing for the end of the day, wishing for the weekend, and living 5 days in a hurry to enjoy 2 days of my time. I was practically wishing my life away. And do those 2 days last? Nope, they fly by like they’d never come in the first place. “Where did the time go?!” I fume at the world. But isn’t that always how it is – “time flies when you’re having fun.” 

Oh, it does indeed.

My surgeon worried about my sanity when he signed off 7 weeks of sick leave after my ankle reconstruction surgery. “What will you do with yourself?” he asked. But was I excited or what! I wanted to read, write, be mindless for a day or two – if anything, I’d needed to regain the sanity I’d lost while working crazy hours under inhumane pressure (I work in advertising…)  – and 7 weeks, which feels like a lifetime at work, stretched out in front of me like an endless horizon.

But alas, time does not move at same speeds when you’re doing your own thing. It feels like yesterday I came out of surgery. 6 weeks of discomfort and pain – when did that happen? Endless, my time of freedom, was not.

At this point, you’re probably wondering – does she hate her job? While this is for another day, let’s get one thing straight: the answer is NO. It isn’t the matter of whether I hate my job or not. Over this “self-reflective” time, just to get all spiritual and meditative, I’ve realised I had such a strong, intuitive surge in me, telling me that I’m not where I am supposed to be, and that I’m not spending my time and efforts in the right place. For these reasons, I am reluctant to return. But more on that another day. 

The last 6 weeks has been the best time to memory in a long time. And from next week, while I return to reality of 8-5 daily grind, I don’t want to return to the habit of wishing my hours, days and weeks away, just for the sake of my “2 days of freedom” that don’t last. If I am wishing for time to fly by, I’d rather have fun doing so, so I aim to find the fun in my role and meet the end of my day with a smile and a sense of fulfilment I’ve experienced in this process of “finding myself”.

Why wish my precious life away? This isn’t it for me. But I might as well make better, and more enjoyable times and memories while I’m in this stage of my life – because no matter what happens, I will look back and be grateful for the opportunity I have right now.

If my time is spent on something, might as well make this time count, right?

Do me, and do me GOOD!

Writing is, apparently, like a muscle. If you don’t work it out, it loses its strength, and wastes away incomparably faster than it takes to build it. Well, I already knew that – in my head. But 2 days ago, 6 weeks after my right ankle reconstruction surgery, I got my ankle cast removed and saw what was left of my calf muscle. It wasn’t much. If my leg – the one I walk, work out, dance, jump and run on, every single day for the last 20 something years can weaken over such a short period of time, it suddenly dawned on me how fragile my writing “muscle” must have become, after not writing at all for the past 6 months (at least!)  While writing this post, I am realising that this is what has happened, because I’m struggling to find the right words to write this post with.

I’ve been in a writing “slump” since my last post on this blog – writer’s block, confidence, inspiration, what have you – but as I’ve been in bed for the past 6 weeks, I’ve fed myself with great books, inspirational interviews and actionable content. Through this time, I’ve learnt that no matter what, I have to keep at something I love, like writing, relentlessly to keep shaping it, improving it and to keep moving forward. Also, I’ve learnt that I have to know what the things I do are FOR. In the context of writing on this blog, I’ve realised that I want to write for my own unique voice and perspective and to practice articulating these better every day. While before, I was pressuring myself to write about what I thought others wanted to read about – but now I think to myself, how did I know what others wanted anyway? A big thing for me to overcome was Why would anyone care enough to read what I write?” The conclusion I reached was that while my stories may be boring or irrelevant for the majority, if it has the possibility to inspire or relate to one single person, it would be worth my time. But regardless, I’ll be in the process of perfecting my craft, so what do I have to lose?

The most important thing I’ve learnt through it all, though, is to “do me”, and “do me good”. And just because I know I can, “the hundreds and thousands blog” – my little space on the internet where I take ownership of my views, thoughts, and ideas – will be exactly where I do that 🙂